Posts Tagged With: nicole miller

I see my stories… So am I done?

A student asked me: “I see my stories… So am I done?”

Un-Storying is not ultimately an intellectual process. The first stages can be seen that way, though, as we step back and see the constructed reality we’ve been living, and strive to understand how we’ve created it. That’s not to say necessarily, why things have happened TO you, but your perception of and interpretation of what it means. This part of the work can be rough, as we use the mind to look at the mind. But once this work has taken hold, and becomes the natural ongoing process, the next part begins.

If I am not my stories, then who, or what, am I really? If I am not a person with struggles, or a fortunate person, or a person who is happy/unhappy/victim/hero/etc, then how do I define myself.IMG_5194

THIS is the bigger work. Is it okay that you don’t have to know who or what you are? Must you have a definition in order to keep control over your experience of life? Can you sit still in silence with yourself and simply live? How does that feel? Is there resistance? If there is, then that points to the next underlying mind story to see and be with. Can you feel a deep compassion for yourself and for others, ALL others, even if your mind tells you otherwise? At this stage, the work focused on seeing that everyone and everything is made of that same stuff. What is THE STUFF? Well, that would once again cause us to intellectualize and label. Thereby separating ourselves from “the stuff”… Or that which simply is. This is not about anti-intellectualism, but about accessing a different type of wisdom. In this space, compassion fuels decision making, though it may not seem like a decision, as it simply becomes the natural response. It is jot about protection or fighting, it becomes about seeing,connecting, and feeling compassion.

This is not a hippy dippy, run through a field of flowers process. It is a rough road inward. One that does away with our beloved projections of ourselves and the world around us. It is at once brutal and liberating. There is no longer anyone to blame or rail against. There is only being alive. There is only the stuff of life daring itself to experience itself. THAT is the ultimate “goal” of un-storying. The goal to see that there is no goal. We are uncovering the reality within.

Categories: Non Dual Coaching, Nonduality, Spirituality | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Universe is Infinitely Abundant by its Very Nature…

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Love is Simple…

Love is simple

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Grandma

Last month, I felt a pull to visit my grandparents’ graves. Not one to believe that the soul/spirit remains in one static place after death, nevertheless, I found myself driving, alone, to sit and pay my respects to them on what would be their wedding anniversary. It reminded me of this blog piece I’d written for another website last year. For those who haven’t seen it…it follows here…

grandma-and-nikkiMy grandmother was always the one who seemed to know what to do. She was always the logical one. She loved me endlessly, unconditionally, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t tell me that I was wrong if she disagreed with me. I lived in her home from four years old to eleven years old and considered her my second mother, and spent my childhood listening to my grandparents and their friends having big raucous parties filled with serious discussion and heated political debate, challenging games of scrabble, Cab Calloway songs, and lots of love.

In February of 1994, one month after the Northridge Earthquake shook me to my core, my grandmother was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. She didn’t smoke, and no one could tell her why this had happened to her. She had battled asthma all her life and had recently overcome a bad fall and injury to her hip, and a bout of Lyme Disease. She was always pretty resilient.

But Cancer was different.

By October of that year, I had moved to New York to be closer to her. The months I spent with her before her death were moving and horrible, loving and transformational. We talked about beliefs and life after death. I believed in it, she did not. Though despite this, she was not afraid.

She passed away on Valentine’s Day 1995, one year after her diagnosis. A day devoted to love was forever indelibly linked to a beloved grandmother’s death. This was the first time that I had ever lost someone I was close to. I can remember her funeral. Sitting in the memorial service, the rain was pouring down, streaming down the windows as if the world was crying for her. I was still in disbelief that she was gone.

Later that day, back at the house, the family gathered for food and reminiscing. But mostly, there was chatter. Lots of chatter. The chatter of people who were connected by blood, but hadn’t seen each other in years. I felt confused. How could these people who loved her be chattering about their own lives right now? What was all this meaningless chatter. I couldn’t take it. I was overwhelmed with grief. I ran upstairs to a bedroom and crawled beneath the collected coats and scarves amassed on the bed. Curled up and silent, I wished for the release of sleep.

For the next three nights in a row, I dreamed of my grandmother. In each dream, it was the same. We were sitting in her kitchen, as I spent many, many years of my childhood and adult life doing. She told me to look after my grandfather. After the third night, she was gone. That is…until one night, a couple of years later, when I was going to bed and I said a small prayer. I told my grandmother that I missed her and that I loved her and I heard, as clear as day, a voice that sounded like it was heard over a transistor radio, “I love you too.” I started for a moment and asked the voice if she had spoken to anyone else. My mother, a cousin… but there was no answer.

I then asked, “Are you happy? Are you OK?” In the next moment, I felt glowing warmth over my entire body, as if I were lying on a beach in the warm summer sun. In that moment, I knew she was okay. I felt relieved. I felt love.

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Feeling Whole, Feeling Peace

What would it feel like to feel complete within yourself? Is there something that has been holding you back? A fear? An old wound?

What if…you were able to dive into that fear, down into the belly of that whale, and then re-emerge again safe, whole, and healed?

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Think it’s not possible?
Think that nothing ever changes?
Well, then it’s your thoughts that are the real problem…

In the silence between the thoughts, anything becomes possible. Take the chance…Try sitting in silence for 5 minutes today and see what happens.

If thoughts intrude, don’t be discouraged! That’s what brains do. They create thoughts. Good news! You’re human! Simply acknowledge that your brain has a thought and return your attention to the silence in between.

Even if you are only able to do this for seconds at a time, it is still a few seconds of peace. Peace from thoughts of fears and projections. Peace from any interpretations of who you are.

Simply peace…

Categories: Non Dual Coaching, Spirituality | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Heat, Prometheus, and the Nature of Change…

Welcome to Summer!

Here on the East Coast, we’re a-broiling!

From a Mythological/Depth Psychological perspective, heat brings about alchemical reaction. Where there’s heat, there’s a burning away of the old; a sweating out the toxins of things that no longer serve us.

Keep in mind, the same sun that helps things grow, and then causes things to wither away, gives us Vitamin D, and causes skin cancer, is a big ball of gaseous fire!  And fire, as we learn from the tale of Prometheus…brings CHANGE!

Change in the way we live our lives, a transformation of the “old” ways of doing things, and ushering in an aspect of Enlightenment in our lives. Yes, granted, Prometheus paid a terrible price for his generosity and his disobeying of Zeus’ direct orders, but often those who bring about change and enlightenment to others, risk ticking off the establishment!

Prometheus, the Trickster Titan, knew that fire would be integral in the development and evolution of humankind, so he took that risk. What old patterns in your life will you allow to burn away in the alchemical heat wave we’re having?

Heinrich_fueger_1817_prometheus_brings_fire_to_mankindAs for me… The end of this month will bring about the completion of a very long process, the awarding of my PhD. This road took me into self-doubt, and out again; into the space of nonduality and into the depths of depression; moving house four times and finding community; leaving classroom (middle school) teaching and beginning college/university teaching; starting a business and taking on a ridiculous amount of student loans; losing my beloved grandfather and gaining new friends and closer relations with family; losing a lot of weight and gaining it back again; and through it all, nothing has really changed, not in the depths of who I am. All that changes is fleeting, wrapped up in an identity of who I believe myself to be. The never  ending rollercoaster of life, spinning and dipping and twirling around, always coming back to the place where it began…in the stillness of non-motion – in the pause between the rides. We choose to get on the ride, whether we consciously realize it or not…so enjoy it! 06-21-08_2055

Let the alchemical heat transform and burn. Grow and shift! After all, the things that change are not who you truly are, they are the amusement park ride we’re on…going through the rings of fire and back again.

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Welcome to Spring!

PersephoneA time for rebirth, creating oneself anew, and the beginnings of the creative force of spring!

The Greek story of Demeter and Persephone celebrates the springtime. Persephone, who had been spirited away beneath the earth by her uncle, (they did that in those days…) Hades, to become the Queen of the Dead, returns in the s11232155_demeter-ve-persephone-kore-mtolojk-hkayeler---xfisiltixpring to reunite with her mother, Demeter, the Goddess of Fertility and Harvest. This return to the light and the world of the living, mirrors the return of longer and (hopefully) warmer days. That which had been dead is now reborn, along with tulips, daffodils, and Cadbury chocolate eggs!

What will you do now that you are entering this time of renewal and emergence into the sun? Is it time to write that book you’ve always had burning inside you? Is it time to learn more about who you really are? Or, is it just time to sit on your deck, porch, or lanai and let the sun gently caress your face, enjoying the sound of the birds chirping and lawnmowers beginning their springtime rituals…

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You Are Perfect Just As You Are!

The words below from the film Hugo speak to the importance and interconnectedness of everyone and everything…You exist exactly as you should and your life will unfold perfectly. (That doesn’t mean you will get everything you want, but the story of your life is always an intricate masterpiece of sheer perfection!)

00000074 “I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too.”

Categories: Non Dual Coaching, Nonduality, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Calling all NaNoWriMo Participants: Editing Offers for December

Offering 20% off all book Manuscript Evaluations in December for anyone who registered for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) this year!

Offering 20% off all book Manuscript Evaluations in December PLUS 20% off Developmental Editing services for anyone who COMPLETED their 50,000 words for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) this year!

 

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Getting Sucked Back in to the Drama

Experiencing the world from a Non-Dual perspective, or in other words, through the understanding that nothing is actually happening other than the manifestations of mind, does not exempt one from “falling back into the drama again.”

In order to explain to “others” how a shift in perspective can reveal a change to the storyline of their lives, words and dialogue are often used to bring about an understanding. There is usually wonderment that these friends/students/colleagues can’t see how simple the shift is, and seem to cling to these stories of problems and people doing them harm. In real detachment, it is possible to see one’s/the Self as everything, and the stories the mind conjures to interpret the world and its phenomenon, merely phantoms and silliness.

But…when one is in that place of story and of identifying themselves as a person in conflict with another, it is quite amazing how the ego mind creeps back in and grabs a hold of us once more!

Recently, I had this experience. Old dynamics at play with a family member triggered an emotional reactive response. I spent days trying to figure out how to respond to possible verbal/emotional attacks and how to express to this person how they made me feel. I was exhausted and wary and defensive and annoyed. I began to think about how I could “fix” it or avoid it…whichever proved easiest and most permanent, but to no avail, because the emotions wouldn’t leave me. It was then that I remembered what my teacher had once said to me,”Feel the emotional story of your conflict, not the details of the story itself. It is never about the ‘other’ person.” It is the same teaching I now offer to others. But it is easy to forget when our own mind’s triggers arise. Once the emotional story is connected to, we can realize that the “other person” is nothing but an actor in the play of your life, offering the opportunity to experience any old unmet emotions, long since repressed deeply into your psyche. It is an embrace of the difficulty, so that old energy can be healed. And even in that, there is no need to heal anything, as it is consciousness itself causing it and sustaining us simultaneously.

I recognize that this post may resonate with some and be disturbing to others. It is not for me to convince anyone of anything. But on this Thanksgiving week, I am grateful for these teachings, as they offer me the tools to navigate life; a chance to awaken further, to peel away yet one more layer of the onion to reveal the Self in all its glory.

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